12 hours ago
15 hours ago
A quiet life of desperation (Thoreau) or an amazing life of inspiration (Marc)?
You'd think the choice is easy.
Still, so many people opt for the first....
It's a never ending mystery to me.
#counsellor #simplifyinglife ... See MoreSee Less
2 days ago
"If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules"
Cherie Carter-Scott's Rules of Life.
Rule 1 – You will receive a body.
Whether you love it or hate it, it’s yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what’s inside.
Rule 2 – You will be presented with lessons.
Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you and learning them ‘is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life’.
Rule 3 – There are no mistakes, only lessons.
Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it’s inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you’d want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement – of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine – it’s also ‘the act of erasing an emotional debt’. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour – especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps – are central to the perspective that ‘mistakes’ are simply lessons we must learn.
Rule 4 – The lesson is repeated until learned.
Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons – they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance – ‘causality’ must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required – change doesn’t happen overnight, so give change time to happen.
Rule 5 – Learning does not end.
While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the ‘rhythm of life’, don’t struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change – be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.
Rule 6 – “There” is no better than “here”.
The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what’s good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.
Rule 7 – Others are only mirrors of you.
You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.
Rule 8 – What you make of your life is up to you.
You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don’t get angry about things – bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us – use it when you need to do what’s right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.
Rule 9 – Your answers lie inside of you.
Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.
Rule 10 – You will forget all this at birth.
We are all born with all of these capabilities – our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise – wisdom is the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.
#CherieCarterScott #RulesOfLife ... See MoreSee Less
I love this book, one of my favs 👌💛
6 days ago
Clients (in Australia), looking for a counsellor or psychologist, often try and get a "mental health plan" from their GP, so they can claim Medicare rebates.
This SEEMS like a good idea, as part of the session fee will be carried by the government. But is it really? Is it actually the more affordable option (it often isn't....)? And also: is is actually the most beneficial option (it sometimes isn't....)? Is it even potentially NOT a good option at all (sometimes it is...)? The prize may not be worth the price (and sometimes is not).
There are some things that could affect you negatively, and that you need to think about before asking your GP for a mental health plan. This video discusses a few of those.
In some cases, seeing a counsellor or other mental health professional privately WITHOUT a mental health diagnosis (ALL mental health care plans require a diagnosis) is the better option, overall.
Let me know if you have questions about this.
#SimplifyingLife #CounsellorClients (in Australia), looking for a counsellor, often try and get a "mental health plan" from their GP, so they can claim Medicare rebates. This SEEMS like... ... See MoreSee Less
Totally. Release whatever "tension" has been built up (physically, mentally and emotionally), regardless of our awareness of it. That's why I pop into your practice room every 5 weeks or so! 🙂
Right on Marc de Bruin. Wouldn’t it be cool if it became as common and expected for everyone to have a proactive, positive mental health tune up every 6 or 12 month REGARDLESS of how you feel. #positivementalhealth #nostigma #newnormal
1 week ago
Body Sensations are an ESSENTIAL element of us being able to feel emotions. No sensations in our bodies? No experience of emotions.
We've become REALLY good at suppressing our awareness of body sensations (even though our brains are still listening), which makes it seriously hard to regulate our emotions. In fact: it has led to us fearing our emotions and running away from them -especially when they're "negative". Completely stupid.
In order to manage our emotions better, and be "ok" with them more readily, we HAVE to start "feeling" our bodies. Mindfulness exercises can help you do this. And paradoxically, this will make us feel "better"!
Talk to me if you want to 1) feel better; 2) be less anxious, depressed and stressed and 3) have better regulation of whatever emotion visits you on a daily basis.
You CAN be peaceful, calm and accepting, and feel "good" most of the time. But it's a learned skill; and skill takes practice.
#Counsellor #SimplifyingLifeBody Sensations are an ESSENTIAL element of us being able to feel emotions. No sensations in our bodies? No experience of emotions. We've become REALLY good ... ... See MoreSee Less
It is so simple. Really.
Happiness, compassion, love, joy and peace are inherent in these attitudes and actions.
Act upon them, and you will HAVE what you are looking for: happiness, compassion, love, joy and peace. You can stop looking for them.
#simplifyinglife #counsellor ... See MoreSee Less
Common Decency and Integrity that needs reminding so often these days - and the real kicker? It doesn’t cost you a thing but offers a lot in return 💛
My "Counsellor's motto":
I see IN you and FOR you what you might have lost sight of yourself, so, by us working together, you can find your way back to it.
It's that simple (and profound).
#Counsellor #SimplifyingLife ... See MoreSee Less
3 weeks ago
You think you want to change your personal or professional life? I think you don't, really. Well, that's a tad flippant, but there is truth to this. Clients often say they REALLY want to change, but when we start working on actually changing, they REALLY resist that process.
This is a common thing amongst us human beings, and there are at least three reasons for it. This video discusses them briefly. Those reasons don't mean you will not change; they just mean you'll find resistance along the way. And that's something we can work on!
#simplifyinglife #counsellorYou think you want to change your personal or professional life? I think you don't, really. Well, that's a tad flippant, but there is truth to this. Clients ... ... See MoreSee Less
4 weeks ago
This is a follow-up on yesterday's "Stop searching for what you want. Start finding it first" video.
A question that was asked in a comment was: "what do I do when I am feeling awful? How do I actually focus on "better" things if the majority of my day is horrible?"
Good question, and there's definitely more than just "look for the bright side". That's why I work with clients! There are many things that can help, and "finding what you already have" is one of the many tools.
In this video, I want to give you an example out of my own life. It could clarify the process a little for you. And I admit: it's simple, but not necessarily easy. It will require willpower; it will require dogged determination; it will require "ignoring" or "not paying attention to" whatever seems to be most in your face. It will require (re-)training your brain to look, listen, taste, smell and feel in a different direction. It is possible, and it does work!
And obviously, instead of Monty Python's Meaning of Life, I was talking about Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. Both quite excellent pieces of work; just for a slightly different context and audience :-). Got my favourites mixed up!
youtu.be/2tXD4EVXk9gThis is a follow-up on yesterday's "Stop searching for what you want. Start finding it first" video. A question that was asked in a comment was: "what do I d... ... See MoreSee Less