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1 week ago

Marc de Bruin

Very often I hear clients talk about "my anxiety" or "my depression" (or any other mental health concern), as if these were something they "own"; as if they are part of them.

I generally tell clients (if the therapeutic relationship allows me to be so frank) that they don't own these buggers. They don't "have" anxiety or depression (or whatever); anxiety/depression has THEM for a while.

I am very aware that this may sound like semantics, but once we can learn to speak about mental health concerns as outside forces having effects on us rather than being something that's "ours", we can learn to let go of "owning" mental health concerns, and free ourselves up from identifying with them. They can become like a bout of flu, or a head cold: nasty, not nice and feeling horrible, but only temporary, and NOT part of your identity. And every bout of flu or head cold is a different one: they're not the same one, returning over and over again.

Once we can grasp this concept, life can get more manageable, and symptoms more tolerable.

#Counsellor #SimplifyingLife #Anxiety #Depression #MentalHealth

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I agree with this wholeheartedly. I let my clients know that they should not be defined by their mental health, even though some of them do “become” their illness.

1 week ago

Marc de Bruin

I believe this concept to be the preferred one for optimal mental and emotional health.

I fully realise that it can be oh-so hard to "live it". There are so many events that seem completely out of our hands/control (triggered or inflicted by "others" or outside circumstances) that affect us greatly... I hear plenty of examples, daily.

Nevertheless, wherever possible, living by this principle can increase our overall peace of mind -and heart, is my firm belief. And it's never too late to start doing so.

#NoBlame #ExtremeOwnership #ExperientialOwnership #Counsellor #SimplifyingLIfe
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I believe this concept to be the preferred one for optimal mental and emotional health. 

I fully realise that it can be oh-so hard to live it. There are so many events that seem completely out of our hands/control (triggered or inflicted by others or outside circumstances) that affect us greatly... I hear plenty of examples, daily.

Nevertheless, wherever possible, living by this principle can increase our overall peace of mind -and heart, is my firm belief. And its never too late to start doing so.

#NoBlame #ExtremeOwnership #ExperientialOwnership #Counsellor #SimplifyingLIfe

2 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

Who we think we are is embedded in the "stories" we think and tell about our lives. We have interpretations -"stories"- of events and people, and these stories make up our life narrative.

Some of these stories can make us feel pretty bad, especially if the events that led to the story we tell were unwanted or negative ones.

The interesting thing is, that we can actually tell a different story, if we choose to do so; one that can ultimately make us feel better. Telling a different story, especially when it comes to negative or otherwise undesired times in our lives, is not easy. On the other hand, the prospect of feeling better down the track can make it worthwhile to put in the effort.

This video delves a bit deeper into how our stories determine our emotional "setpoint" in life (and steer the direction of our lives' actions). Narrative Therapy is the modality that works with the concept of telling a different story.

If you don't like your life story, tell a different one. And watch change in you happen.

#SimplifyingLife #Counsellor

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3 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

Approaching the tail end of Men's (Mental) Health Week.

Still a shocker to see that out of the 8 suicides per day in Australia -which is a shocker in itself- 6 of them are men.... 😟

The absurd stigma that talking about your "feelings" is a sign of weakness (and we should just toughen up) still exists among many Aussie men. It's clearly very counterproductive.

Luckily the tide is changing, which will hopefully reflect in years to come.

The post-COVID period has me slightly on edge, though. I suspect I'll be talking to an increasing number of men over the next few years. I hope I will be wrong...

#MensHealth #MensMentalHealth
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Approaching the tail end of Mens (Mental) Health Week.

Still a shocker to see that out of the 8 suicides per day in Australia -which is a shocker in itself- 6 of them are men.... 😟

The absurd stigma that talking about your feelings is a sign of weakness (and we should just toughen up) still exists among many Aussie men. Its clearly very counterproductive.

Luckily the tide is changing, which will hopefully reflect in years to come.

The post-COVID period has me slightly on edge, though. I suspect Ill be talking to an increasing number of men over the next few years. I hope I will be wrong...

#MensHealth #MensMentalHealth

3 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

The thoughts-feelings-actions cycle of many people.

Keeping people like myself in business since the beginning of human kind.

#avoidance #itdoesnotwork #stillwekeeptrying
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The thoughts-feelings-actions cycle of many people.

Keeping people like myself in business since the beginning of human kind.

#Avoidance #ItDoesNotWork #StillWeKeepTrying

3 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

In case you missed it (although I am not sure if there are good enough reasons -other than emergency ones- why you would have 😉), here is the replay of the Spirit Hive June Live Hive this morning.

Bit low on testosterone, this video, but I stood my ground in this sea of femininity! Loved the unscripted and free-flowing discussion around intuition, knowing, and "feeling" what is right. Jennifer Forster and Robyn Boyle have officially been inducted into the Hall of Spirit Hive Speakers, now. And Carren Smith was her usual awesome self, of course!

Be there next month, and keep an eye on snippets of what we discussed in coming Spirit Hive posts!

#SpiritHive #LiveHive #LoveThisGroup

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1 month ago

Marc de Bruin

Spirit Hive Live Hive June 2020:

Intuition: is it something, and if so, how can we use and grow it?

#spirithive #livehive #june2020
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2 months ago

Marc de Bruin

Tortoise vs. Hare ... See MoreSee Less

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2 months ago

Marc de Bruin

Sometimes, clients share with me that they have trouble identifying what a particular emotion or feeling "should" feel like. What is "sadness"? How do you know you're sad? What do you do, in that case?

Sometimes it's hard to identify what it is we feel, and how to describe that. We can always go back to how things "feel" in our bodies, as the body often gives clear indications of what is going on.

This video delves a little deeper into the difference between emotions (e-motion: energy in motion) and feelings; the difference between physical sensations (emotions) and the labels we stick on them (feelings). This can help you to become more adept and able to identify what it is you are feeling, and how you can deal with both the bodily expression and the thoughts that come with it.

youtu.be/dZCwaK06PCY

#Counsellor #Emotions #Feelings #SimplifyingLife
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