50 minutes ago

Marc de Bruin

This is a follow-up on yesterday's "Stop searching for what you want. Start finding it first" video.

A question that was asked in a comment was: "what do I do when I am feeling awful? How do I actually focus on "better" things if the majority of my day is horrible?"

Good question, and there's definitely more than just "look for the bright side". That's why I work with clients! There are many things that can help, and "finding what you already have" is one of the many tools.

In this video, I want to give you an example out of my own life. It could clarify the process a little for you. And I admit: it's simple, but not necessarily easy. It will require willpower; it will require dogged determination; it will require "ignoring" or "not paying attention to" whatever seems to be most in your face. It will require (re-)training your brain to look, listen, taste, smell and feel in a different direction. It is possible, and it does work!

And obviously, instead of Monty Python's Meaning of Life, I was talking about Viktor Frankl's Man's Search for Meaning. Both quite excellent pieces of work; just for a slightly different context and audience :-). Got my favourites mixed up!

youtu.be/2tXD4EVXk9gThis is a follow-up on yesterday's "Stop searching for what you want. Start finding it first" video. A question that was asked in a comment was: "what do I d...
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2 days ago

Marc de Bruin

When we want to feel a particular feeling (say happiness), or don't want to feel another feeling (say loneliness), we often try to search/chase/pursue the good feeling, and try to get rid of the bad feeling.

Neither works, and in actual fact actually INCREASES the chances of feeling bad, and DECREASES the chances of feeling good.

In order to "not feel bad", you want to start by not paying attention to that feeling anymore. In a way, ignore it. And in order to "feel better", you don't want to chase/pursue/hunt that feeling, as that makes you more aware of its absence. What you want to do is to start acknowledging and being aware of where that feeling is already there, in you and around you.

From little things big things grow. The more you can find bits and pieces of what it is you want to experience more of, the more of it you can experience!

It works.

youtu.be/IQ4IMUmxXvc
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3 days ago

Marc de Bruin

You’re warned, now.

Own risk, from this point forward. Your choice.

#Counsellor #WeAreAllPowerful
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You’re warned, now.

Own risk, from this point forward. Your choice.

#Counsellor #WeAreAllPowerful

6 days ago

Marc de Bruin

Apparently, I am doing speed-counselling, now.

8 minutes flat on the phone.

"That was VERY useful; thank you so much".

Counselling in the 21st Century.... 😬

#MeepMeep #Counselling
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Apparently, I am doing speed-counselling, now.

8 minutes flat on the phone.

That was VERY useful; thank you so much.

Counselling in the 21st Century.... 😬

#MeepMeep #Counselling

7 days ago

Marc de Bruin

I love this.

Looking at things differently makes a world of difference.

#dothingsdifferently.
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I love this.

Looking at things differently makes a world of difference.

#DoThingsDifferently.

2 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

“The beginning of freedom is the realization that you are not the possessing entity — the thinker.” (Eckhart Tolle).

When we "think" that our thoughts are us, and that they are a reflection of reality, we're in trouble.

We are NOT our thoughts, and our thoughts have very little (if nothing) to do with "reality". They're a product of our "mind", and we our not our mind, either.

When we learn to separate our "selves" from our thoughts we can learn that:

1) most of the day we are just blabbering, stuck-on-repeat idiots, jumping from past stories to future stories and back again, but never "here"; and

2) the observer of all this is actually not in any way affected by what the blabbering idiot rambles on about. The observer is just calm and curious; interested in what fascinating idea comes next, and quietly resting in the eternal "now".

Depression, anxiety and other common mental ailments can not affect the observer, ever. Most symptoms of mental ill-health stem from leaning too much in the past or too much towards the future, stringing stories together that "in reality" are not connected at all.

To break loose from that blabbering story teller (unless you like the stories; then by all means, keep them!) the realisation that we are NOT the thinker is step 1. Start pondering that insight. It might change your life.

#WeAreNotOurThoughts #ThePowerOfNow
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3 weeks ago

Marc de Bruin

Just heard a story from a client about a 10-year old who came off a horse; broke C1 and C2 vertebrae, and is now tetraplegic: no movement at all, and on ventilation permanently, for the rest of her life.

OMG 😱 That one made me think about life for a bit.

If you can move, breathe, eat and drink independently and are (fairly) healthy otherwise, count your blessings, EVERY day. Thank your body, EVERY day. Treat it well, EVERY day.

It's the only one we have, this time around, and it's worthy of your appreciation.

#gratitude #appreciation #yourbody
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Comment on Facebook

You're right Marc ❤

Yes it certainly is Mark, stories like this make you appreciate how lucky you are.

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